"Uhmmm, Mama. I think you're taking this whole holiday preparation thing way too seriously. I do believe I see smoke rising up from the top of your head!
I think you should relax a bit. Maybe drive out to a store and purchase some cat treats or something. Yeah, that would help you calm down.
Or the seafood market! That would be even better. Wow, theres even more smoke now!!! How do you make it DO that?
Have you ever given any consideration to trying catnip? It really helps with my stress situations. WHOA! Now you have steam coming out of your ears!!!
I get the feeling I'd better shut up now."
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